Here We Go Again: Jonathan Dwyer of the Arizona Cardinals Arrested for Domestic Abuse
Sigh. Will a single day go by when we won’t see an NFL player front and center – and booted off the field onto an “exempt” list – because of some sort of domestic violence?
This time it is Jonathan Dwyer, running back for the Arizona Cardinals. The team claims they just found out about the accusations on Wednesday, even though the incident happened near the end of July. That may be true, as Jonathan Dwyer was just arrested on Wednesday. Apparently his wife finally came forward because she believed Dwyer to be suicidal.
Jonathan Dwyer arrested on aggravated assault charges (AP Photo/The Arizona Republic, David Kadlubowski)
The gist of the charge is this: Jonathan Dwyer was trying to kiss and undress his wife. When she refused, biting his lip, he head-butted her and the argument escalated, causing the neighbors called the police. Dwyer hid in the bathroom and threatened to kill his wife and child if she said anything. The next day he punched her in the face, threw a fit and punched holes in the walls, and threw a shoe at his 17-month-old son. (Source)
The court of public opinion is screaming for the head of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, who was already unpopular for his mishandling of the Ray Rice incident, as well as the more recent Adrian Peterson legal mess. Is Goodell at fault for what is going on in the league?
I am of two minds.
These are grown men – adults – and they are acting as if they are accountable to no one. Many of them were coddled through high school, carried through college, then had bags of money thrown at them…all because they can play football. They have never had to be accountable for anything that was not on that field. In a sense, they never matured past the age of about 17. However, before you think I’ve gone too soft, I don’t think for a second that is an excuse. It is an explanation, a mitigating factor, but it is NOT an excuse. They still live in the real world, they still interact with real people, and I just don’t believe for a second that they don’t know right from wrong. No…they know what is right, and they know that it’s a lot more fun being wrong, and they have always gotten away with it.
Now…as to Roger Goodell. Do I think that he is responsible for this mess? Goodell is in charge of the league. He is the one who sets the rules, the standards to which the players will be held. He is the one who can (and apparently does) look the other way when it’s profitable to do so. So yes, I think he is responsible. Also responsible though? The culture of this sport that has elevated it above everything, even the law. Goodell might be making stupid decisions, but he’s making those decisions well within the expectations of the football-loving world. NFL fans don’t want to know that their heroes are thugs behind closed doors. They don’t want their fantasy favorites to be benched because they did something illegal or stupid. Look at the Ray Rice situation. Everyone knew the story of what happened between him and his fiancee; everyone accepted that short suspension. They didn’t care about the gory details; they didn’t want to know. But when a video showed just how brutal his one-shot punch was, and how coldly he reacted, all of a sudden Ray Rice was no longer a hero. Now he was a thug. And the fans hated it…not because of what he did, but because it burst that happy little bubble that they were existing in, where NFL players were maybe immature at times, but they were still heroes and great guys.
The league certainly seems to be working overtime now to show that they have a zero-tolerance policy for these things now. Will it continue? Will the NFL start to clean house and start to make their players, their employees, act like responsible adults? Will the fans also start to make their heroes become accountable for their actions?
Time will tell…
Radisson Pulls Vikings Sponsorship Because of Adrian Peterson; Nike Removes Products from Shelves
By now everyone is pretty much aware of the horrifying details of the child abuse charge against Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings. You can review what I wrote about it the other day if you want to.
A national outcry has erupted since last weekend. The Vikings have reinstated Adrian Peterson and, as of now, he will play on Sunday as if nothing ever happened. The team is claiming that they want to let “due process” run its course. What is the reality? Only those on the inside really know, but I would not find it far-fetched to believe that the embarrassing loss the Vikings took last Sunday doesn’t have something to do with the decision.
Adrian Peterson Indicted for Child Abuse (Getty Images)
Adrian Peterson has admitted what he did. He has admitted to having gone overboard and claims to feel bad about it. That may or may not be true. I suspect that he is only regretful that he got caught. He has a history of over-discliplining his very young children. He’s spoken of it before; he’s defended himself against accusations of being cruel with the old “I had it done to me when I was a kid” excuse. This is not a man who is claiming innocence. Yes, he is entitled to a trial and he’ll have his day in court. But his job is more than just running around on the field with a football. A huge part of the NFL is a team’s image, its reputation, and its character. Ray Rice hit his grown-up fiancee and got kicked off his team and basically banned from the league. Adrian Peterson beat a defenseless child to the point of drawing blood, and he got the weekend off? Seriously, NFL?
Thankfully, there are some who are taking a stand against the look-the-other-way mentality that seems to exist toward child abuse. Radisson Hotels have suspended their sponsorship of the Minnesota Vikings after Adrian Peterson was charged. In a statement Monday, Minnetonka-based Radisson said it ”takes this matter very seriously particularly in light of our long-standing commitment to the protection of children.’
Bravo, Radisson! Bravo!
This just in! Nike stores in the Twin Cities have pulled all merchandise relating to the Minnesota Vikings running back from their shelves, Jon Krawczynski of The Associated Press reports.
Let’s take a stand, America!
Adrian Peterson Indicted for Reckless or Negligent Injury to Child
This child was FOUR years old! FOUR!
I am all in favor of mild corporal punishment when it is appropriate. A smack or two on the bottom, enough to get the point across that the behavior will not be tolerated — that I can get behind.
What I will never advocate or agree with is beating a small child to the point where they have blood-crusted welts on their back, legs, bottom, and even their genitals!
Adrian Peterson Indicted for Child Abuse (Getty Images)
So many people are jumping on board the support-Adrian train. Jumping on the “I got spanked when I was a kid…” and “this is the problem with today’s kids…” bandwagon.
I agree, today’s kids are not disciplined enough. But this wasn’t a pre-teen who was dabbling in gangs that needed a really strong hand to try to keep him out of a life of danger. This was a preschooler whose crime was to push another small child while playing video games. And for his crime, he was beaten with a tree branch “10-15 times”, enough to draw blood. He had leaves stuffed in his mouth so he couldn’t scream.
Does that sound like loving, caring discipline to you? Adrian Peterson claims that he just disciplines like he was when he was a child. I will venture to assert that if he was beaten to this extent when he was a small child, then that is not something he should be mimicking today.
Four years old! Four!
There is nothing…I repeat, nothing … that a four-year-old could do that would warrant this type of a beating. In fact, one source I read said that this child had at least three such punishments in the week (the WEEK) that he was visiting his dad. I cannot fathom what a four-year-old could do that would warrant such a reaction from a “loving” father. I would say that if you’re having to apply that kind of punishment to a kid that young that often, then you probably need to rethink your parenting techniques. Something else is going on. The boy calls him “Daddy Peterson”…what?? What kind of father-son relationship is that?
It is absolutely sickening how many THOUSANDS of comments have been in favor of Adrian Peterson beating this small child. Thousands! Why? Because they were beaten too? Because they’re not bothering to read the details of the police report and look at the photos of that little boy’s legs, and they’re just assuming it was deserved, or the kid was older, or…whatever. But it’s just scary to see how many people just would love to beat their children…if they could get away with it.
*deep breath*
Please…please, America. Do not get so caught up in your “hero”. Adrian Peterson is pretty much Fantasy Football Draft Pick #1 in every league. Do I think that this has something to do with a lot of these comments? Oh yeah, I sure do. Do I think that his status as one of the #1 players in the NFL has anything to do with how quickly people are jumping to approve of his child abuse? Oh yeah, I sure do!
Look at the pictures here. Look at that little boy’s legs and decide for yourself if that is a reasonable amount of discipline for simply pushing another kid in a video game squabble.
This man brutalized his four-year-old son in the name of “loving discipline” and people are actually agreeing with him! The public was very quick to jump all over Ray Rice for domestic violence against his fiancee, but they’re defending a man who beat his preschooler until he bled?
Where’s the line between acceptable corporal punishment and child abuse? It might be grey to some people, but it should never, EVER be red with blood!
School Bans Dad in Army Uniform
I read this article today and my blood just boiled:
“The security guard told him men and women in uniform were not allowed because it may OFFEND another student.”
Offend another student? OFFEND?? Seriously? Are you kidding?
Dad In Uniform – God Bless the USA
Who exactly would be offended by someone who arrived at his child’s school in the uniform of his job? Would someone be offended if a plumber came to work in his uniform? Or a policeman? Or a … I don’t know … a fireman, fast food worker, or … well, anyone else whose job has a uniform?
What is the big problem people have with military personnel? So maybe we’re fighting wars that you don’t agree with. Maybe we’re sticking our noses into places it does not belong. But that is not the fault of the individual soldier.
Maybe there have been cases where an individual soldier has acted in a manner unbecoming a US military person. Maybe there have been cases that the military would love to pretend never existed.
Regardless of all of that, a soldier, a father, in uniform is not the enemy. They are not someone to be offended by. Police, firemen … plumbers have, throughout the years, all been associated with crimes of various sorts. The person does not equal the entire profession.
The military is not a singular being. It is a group of people — human beings — some who make mistakes, some who commit terrible acts, but the majority of which are just trying to make a living, provide for their families, and protect their country at the same time. To suddenly vilify everyone in uniform, just because they wear a uniform, to the point where OFFENSE is taken…well, that is just going too far.
The only people I would think could be offended by a military person would be perhaps an immigrant from a country in which not-so-pleasant things have happened. If that is the case, well…too bad. You’re in America, you’re in this country. Cope.
I am a veteran of the US Army. There were periods of my service that I am proud of, other periods where I am not as much. But I was a soldier, and I am a veteran, and I am proud that for a short time I served my country in a way that probably 90% of the country couldn’t possibly do themselves.
As I write this (and calm down a bit), I am just saddened by the direction this country is going. The men and women who once were heroes in everyone’s eyes, who were once accorded the respect and dignity that they deserved for the sacrifices that they make for this country, from the clerk at the local recruitment office to the special ops soldier on the front lines…to have them suddenly deemed offensive to other people, to children who should be taught that they respect these people…it’s just appalling. These are people who have volunteered to die if they have to, if their job requires it. To die! There are really children who are being raised to be offended by these people??
Maybe this is a singular incident. Maybe that security guard has some sort of personal issues with the military. Maybe they will do more than just apologize to this dad in Army uniform, but instead really take a look at their overall mindset. But the fact that this father was stopped by FOUR people leads me to believe otherwise. When I first saw the headline, I expected to read something about “fatigues = possible weapons” or something like that. I was shocked when I saw that it was a ban mean to guard the frail sensibilities of this generation’s children.
I…I can’t go on for now. I will watch as this story unfolds and I’m sure it will all eventually get swept under the rug. I would urge that father to make this public, very public, and stop the discrimination against the military. Remember the Vietnam War years, when anyone in uniform was the enemy? Do we really want to relive that experience?
I don’t think so.
Note: I apologize for the over-emotional overuse of ellipses and italics.
Fast Food Fight for Fifteen
Today, fast food workers in 150 cities across America are walking out on the job, staging sit-ins on corners and in intersections, all for the purpose of strong-arming the industry into paying them $15/hour minimum to do their jobs.
It isn’t a hidden fact that a large number of fast food workers are not working there for a stepping-stone job or extra money. For many (and most, in some areas), this job is what they are expecting to pay all their bills, their living expenses, their livelihood.
Does the fast food industry have a social obligation to make sure that their workers are paid a “living wage”?
I would argue “no” to that. They are legally obligated to follow the laws of the country and state and morally obligated to treat their employees as people. However, they are not obligated to cut their bottom line nor to pay their workers more than the position is actually worth.
Fast Food Workers Protest and Demand $15/hour
Did you catch that? The POSITION. What the POSITION, the JOB is worth. No one is saying that the person holding the position is not worth a living wage. What they’re saying is the job being performed is worth minimum wage and that is all. If the worker needs more money than the job provides, then they need to make plans to go somewhere else.
Do I have sympathy for people who find themselves trapped in these low-paying jobs? Absolutely. But I don’t have sympathy for the ones who are not willing to do anything about it. I have worked for minimum wage. I have taken pay cuts, significant ones, due to life choices, sometimes voluntary, sometimes not. I have gone from making $40/hour to making $13/hour. Did it suck? Yes! Was I worth more than $13/hour? Yes! But the job that I needed to take was not worth more than $13/hour, and therefore I had to work hard and prove myself and claw my way upwards from that position into one that paid more.
The fast food industry is already on the brink of being nearly fully-automated. If the striking workers get their way, what do they envision happening? Do they have stars in their eyes, already spending that extra money in their paycheck? Because here is what I envision happening:
First off, the average SKILLED worker position has a starting salary in the $12-$14 range. Will the fast food companies keep unskilled, sometimes unreliable labor, or will they replace them with the sudden wave of responsible, more professional, skilled workers who will jump ship and flock to the easier jobs with more money?
McDonald’s, specifically, has already been testing out new ordering kiosks. If they suddenly have to pay almost double in worker salaries, how quickly do you think they will be rolling out as much automation as possible? What happens to those $15/hour jobs then? They disappear.
I am not going to comment on the lifestyle choices that seem to be a common theme among the people that keep getting interviewed for all the news articles. Everyone has read them or seen the interviews on the news. They are not college kids complaining that their part-time job doesn’t give them enough beer money. They’re not retirees complaining that the money doesn’t supplement their retirement. They aren’t people who are using the job for extra money for their family’s household.
You don’t need a college degree or fancy education to move up in the world. I work for a company that is hiring constantly and no college education is required. Can’t afford to formally learn new skills? Just buy a couple of books and teach yourself. Can’t afford books? Then park yourself at the library or a Barnes & Noble every weekend until you learn enough skills to pass an interview into an entry-level skilled position.
Author’s Note: Before I get completely blasted as unsympathetic, I will say that I am not against an overall rising of the minimum wages, across all jobs, all states and all circumstances. If studies show that minimum wage needs to be adjusted in conjunction with inflation, and the wage adjustment would trickle up to all workers, then of course I would be all for that. What I am reluctant to support is the doubling of pay for one particular entry-level job in one particular industry.
Back to the striking workers…many of them have been counseled that they may be arrested today. They are willing to accept that; they believe in their cause. But they will not win, even if the wage is raised to $15/hour. Success is not money, folks. Success is achieving happiness and fulfillment through hard work and perseverance. Even if the salary is suddenly higher, that does not equal success. Bullying someone into giving you something that is not deserved is not success. The only way these striking workers can win is to take that rage and passion and turn it towards making their own success in life and not waste their time trying to get others to just give it to them.
Modern Kindergarten: First Day of Kindergarten Breakfast
“Modern Kindergarten” is a tongue-in-cheek series based on my experiences as a new Kindergarten Mom.
Why yes, I would love some fruit with my breakfast.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Pinterest is awesome. It is fantastic. It is inspirational. It is…evil. And it sneers at you. It drives you to need breakfast such as seen over there on the left.
Pancakes in the shape of the letters in my daughter’s name?
A caterpillar made from banana slices and a grape.
Are there really, seriously mothers who painstakingly skewer strawberries, egg, and waffle slices for their little tykes?
Do moms really put pancake batter in a squeeze bottle and make pancake in pretty lacy patterns? Do kids like to eat breakfast in the shape of a doily?
There are countless pins about breakfast smoothies for kids. I can’t imagine just handing my five-year-old a cold glass of ground up fruit and yogurt and saying “Here’s your breakfast. Enjoy!”
This one just made me laugh out loud: Easy breakfast idea for kids: Prosciutto and Egg Panini. Um…are you kidding?
Do you know what my daughter wants for her first-day-of-kindergarten breakfast? Donuts. A variety of donuts, to be specific. And white milk (which is organic and whole, at least). Oh yeah, I can handle that! I felt guilty about this no-stress breakfast for only a small moment (I did take the whole day off just for this first day of school. Where is the request for the pancakes or the panini?!?) My guilt went away when the logistics of how to get a variety of donuts first thing in the morning without dragging her to the bakery baffled me. Do I get them the day before and feed her day-old donuts on such a special occasion? Do I dash out super early before my husband goes to work so they’re nice and fresh? Do I *gasp* try to make homemade donuts myself?
So…much…pressure.
The main thing to consider is that the moment you start fashioning woodland creatures out of breakfast foods in honor of special occasions, your kids are going to want that every single special day that comes along. Do you want to have to be dying everything pink every Valentine’s day until the end of time? Do you want to have make marshmallow snowmen and toast with fruit in the shape of a flag, etc. for every single themed day? In America? Where there is some sort of themed holiday All The Time? Imagine the years stretching before you, the hectic early mornings before school, making artwork for breakfast in the pre-dawn hours while your family SLEEPS. *Shudder*
So, while all the other moms are serving rainbow waffles and apple slice sandwiches, day 2 of school at my house will be a bowl of cereal and a banana. I am almost regretting the donuts on day 1.
It’s Okay to be Anxious about First World Problems
It’s Okay to be Anxious about First World Problems
My automatic garage door won’t close on its own. I have to pull the car out in the driveway, walk back to the garage, hold the button down until the “danger” alarm is overridden and the door slowly creeps down. Then I have to go all the way through the house, out the front door, lock it behind me, and back to the driveway to get in the car.
This week our hot water heater broke. Hot water is sporadic. Showers, laundry, and dishwashing needs have to be scheduled around the whims of that cylinder in the basement. Two days this week I have had to rush out of work and drive the 25 minutes home to meet the plumber. I have to waste vacation time because there aren’t enough extra hours this week I can spare to make up the time.
First World Problems: My Diamond Shoes are Too Tight!
These are things that are making me anxious this week, things that are inconvenient, things that stress me out. But do you know what stresses me out even more? Feeling guilty that I am stressed about these things, these first world problems. Feeling guilty because I know that things could be so much worse.
I know people who are far better off than me: people who can afford to own two nice cars, buy nice jewelry, take extended vacations, renovate rooms in their house or buy a newer, bigger house. People who have a boat.
I know people who are way worse off than me: people who can barely meet their basic expenses, live paycheck-to-paycheck, buy everything secondhand, have an old vehicle with mechanical issues they can’t afford to fix…or no car at all. People who have no job, or a job with little pay/hours, or a job with no flexibility or paid time off. People with no homes. People who go hungry.
What do all of these people have in common? They are people…human beings who all have a point at which they become anxious. Some can tolerate more stress than others. Some get stressed out over the smallest thing. It is okay to be worried about something, whether you’re a millionaire or a homeless person in the street. No one should feel guilty because something unexpected in their life is causing them a bit of worry. These are things that affect you, so of course you are going to have an emotional reaction on some level.
It’s okay to be anxious about first world problems! It really is!
What is not okay is to complain about it. To whine about it, gripe about it, make it the center of your universe and radiate it to everyone around you. It is not okay to make something bigger than it needs to be in order to get sympathy or attention from others. It is not okay to constantly moan about how rough things are…because someone will always have it rougher. ALWAYS.
Vent to your friends, write about it in a journal, have a quick cry…and then move on and deal with it. The line between allowable anxiety and just plain wallowing is not blurry. You’re allowed to be anxious; you are not allowed to grumble and gripe.
As for me?
I am thankful I have an automatic garage door and that it will soon be fixed.
I am thankful I have a car to put in the garage in the first place. I am happy that car starts up every morning.
I am thankful I have a job that is flexible enough to let me dash home to meet the plumber. I am happy that I have a job that pays enough so that I can afford to pay for the plumber without sacrificing groceries or an electric bill. I am thankful that I have vacation time to use so that I don’t have a smaller paycheck.
I am thankful to have clean water at all times, and hot water on demand when the heater isn’t acting up. I am happy to have a new enough house that my water heater is still under warranty, thus saving me a lot of money.
I am thankful for these things. But I am allowed to be anxious when things go “wrong” and not feel guilty. I’m allowed to feel stressed out when my schedule is suddenly hectic and unpredictable.
I am allowed to be anxious, but I should never complain.
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