“Modern Kindergarten” is a tongue-in-cheek series based on my experiences as a new Kindergarten Mom.
Why yes, I would love some fruit with my breakfast.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Pinterest is awesome. It is fantastic. It is inspirational. It is…evil. And it sneers at you. It drives you to need breakfast such as seen over there on the left.
Pancakes in the shape of the letters in my daughter’s name?
A caterpillar made from banana slices and a grape.
Are there really, seriously mothers who painstakingly skewer strawberries, egg, and waffle slices for their little tykes?
Do moms really put pancake batter in a squeeze bottle and make pancake in pretty lacy patterns? Do kids like to eat breakfast in the shape of a doily?
There are countless pins about breakfast smoothies for kids. I can’t imagine just handing my five-year-old a cold glass of ground up fruit and yogurt and saying “Here’s your breakfast. Enjoy!”
This one just made me laugh out loud: Easy breakfast idea for kids: Prosciutto and Egg Panini. Um…are you kidding?
Do you know what my daughter wants for her first-day-of-kindergarten breakfast? Donuts. A variety of donuts, to be specific. And white milk (which is organic and whole, at least). Oh yeah, I can handle that! I felt guilty about this no-stress breakfast for only a small moment (I did take the whole day off just for this first day of school. Where is the request for the pancakes or the panini?!?) My guilt went away when the logistics of how to get a variety of donuts first thing in the morning without dragging her to the bakery baffled me. Do I get them the day before and feed her day-old donuts on such a special occasion? Do I dash out super early before my husband goes to work so they’re nice and fresh? Do I *gasp* try to make homemade donuts myself?
So…much…pressure.
The main thing to consider is that the moment you start fashioning woodland creatures out of breakfast foods in honor of special occasions, your kids are going to want that every single special day that comes along. Do you want to have to be dying everything pink every Valentine’s day until the end of time? Do you want to have make marshmallow snowmen and toast with fruit in the shape of a flag, etc. for every single themed day? In America? Where there is some sort of themed holiday All The Time? Imagine the years stretching before you, the hectic early mornings before school, making artwork for breakfast in the pre-dawn hours while your family SLEEPS. *Shudder*
So, while all the other moms are serving rainbow waffles and apple slice sandwiches, day 2 of school at my house will be a bowl of cereal and a banana. I am almost regretting the donuts on day 1.